Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
