girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
