I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize