idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
