love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
