I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
