it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
