It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
