I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love having hate sex.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
