Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
