great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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