Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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