wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
