if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
