farters have to be the big spoon...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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