tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
