Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize