i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize