I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Damn victory sex feels great
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
