he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize