You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
