He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
