when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
