Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize