Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
