ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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