I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
