you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
