THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
