the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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