She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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