What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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