You don't have asthma, your pregnant
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize