yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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