Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
