I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
