All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
