Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
