our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
