oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
