Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
