I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize