Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
