But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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