alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
