Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You can't special order awesome
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
