Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
