i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
