I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
