If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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