Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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