My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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