I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize