Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
