Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You are the jesus of drinking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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