I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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