Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
